Wasting Time on Middle School Children

Today I was criticized by two middle-school people about my punctuative use of a dash. A stinking dash after saying “P.S.” to amend my sentence. For example: “I really like your coat buttons today, Peter. PS– I think Sister Smiltonmel’s coat buttons are rather nice, too.” Though not acceptable in many types of writing, it is perfectly understandable and accpetable to use such language in conversation. I was doing just that. The first middle-school person had a much better understanding of the English language and was able to accept my rebuttal of her somewhat rude (actually, it was more thoughtless– I’ve done the same thing without meaning to be rude) comment. We actually had a good conversation about punctuation afterward and became Fascistbook friends. However, the second middle-school child was not only poor in capitalization and the punctuation he (or was it a she? The name could go either way) was criticizing rudely and overvehemently, but he (or she) was also only being rude simply for the sake of arguing and building up a nonexistent ego. I understand that middle-school children often are inexperienced in arguing in a good way and accepting the blatant truth, especially from their elders, but I simply cannot believe the low standards teen-agers are falling to, not only morally, but intelligently as well.

The conversation in its entirety (names excluded)(I’m not asking for support. Rather, I am simply sharing an experience and an example of common teen-ager wisdom, and comparing a good example of the age-group to a bad example):

Person 1: OOOOOHHH!! It’s the guy!

Me: Indeed. I am THE guy. PS– if you’re not a fan of IPF³, you ought to be. Cool people are.

Person 1: Your punctuation isn’t very good. Oh, well. I don’t know you. Wait, you’re the almost-missionary, right?

Me (my first and really last truly rude comment): Um… I have no idea where you get “your punctuation isn’t very good” because it’s spot-on. I’ve checked. I would appreciate it if you adhered to not correct people when you really don’t know what you’re correcting. If you have something that isn’t imaginary to offer, feel free to be as rude as necessary. I’ll take rudeness when it’s truth, but I will overthrow it if it has no place– even educationally.

Me: However, thank you for following my advice and joining. I do hope you enjoy it.

Person 1: Sorry, well, I’ve never seen “P.S.” followed by a dash.

Person 1: I don’t like being disliked by people I’ve never met. I should simply stop correcting peoples’ grammar, because I know it’s annoying. I’m working on it.

Me: The dash is a sign of pause different from a comma. Though not used by all linguists, I happen to utilize it constantly. Forgive me for my outburst upon you; now I see where your comment came from. For future reference, though, a dash is for a sort of a pause or dividing a part of a sentence that differers from using a comma or parenthesis.

Person 1: I see. It’s fine, I don’t mind at all. What I said wasn’t all that nice, either.

Me: I used to correct people’s punctuation a lot, too, as well as grammar. I learned not to do it unless it was a close friend who can take it. Don’t worry, though. I respect a fellow person who respects the English language. It’s good to recognize such things.

Person 1: You say “people’s,” I say “peoples’.” Is there a correct way to do that? I know “men’s” as opposed to “mens’” is correct, but does it follow the same rule?

Me (missing the apostrophe, thus misunderstanding the entire query): Well, “peoples” is multiple people yet doesn’t show possession of “punctuation.” Without the apostrophe, it only means multiple objects such as “persons” or “cats.” The apostrophe shows possession. “People’s punctuation” meaning “punctuation of multiple persons.”

Person 1: I meant with the apostraphe after the S, not before. I did put an apostraphe, just not in the place you did.

Me: Oh, wait. I see. I didn’t see the apostrophe at the END of “peoples’.” Sorry.

You know, I’m not entirely sure which would be correct. Let me think. With the apostrophe at the end, you’re using the word “peoples” and adding possession to it. I’m using the word “people” and adding possession to it. I think both actually can be considered correct, though “peoples” I think is generally used for entire countries and cultures and such. I think both can be considered correct, though.

Person 1: Thank you. I thought so, too. I can’t talk to other people about my grammar, so thank you for helping. May I add you [as a friend]?

Me: Haha. I love grammar and punctuation, not to mention English as a whole. It was good to talk to you. One of the IPF³ authors is actually a former English teacher, and his skills in this wonderful language of ours far excels mine by, if it was measurable, miles. You’ll probably be able to talk grammar and punctuation with him when the site launches.

Person 1: Ooh, awesome. I do the same thing in Spanish. Do you know how many errors there are on UTA Bus signs? It’s not even funny. It’s like they used an online translator, or something.

Me: Ha. I do that sort of thing constantly on websites and advertisements. It’s sad how many companies issue communications with blatantly incorrect English usage; they’re not even debatable or hard-to-catch mistakes.

Oh, and you may.

Me: I do feel bad about my outburst still. I work for an online news website, and I perpetually receive comments and mail of people who are honestly Devil’s advocates. They look for everything and anything to be rude about, and your comment really was nothing in meanness compared to theirs. I’ve been able to keep cool with that bombardment of negative comments; I don’t know why I wasn’t able to control myself with yours. Again, please forgive.

Person 1: I saw a billboard that tried to pluralize with an apostrophe. *SHUDDER*

Thanks. Anyway, I do forgive you. I realized what I said before kind of evened us out, so you didn’t even have to ask. It’s really no big deal.

Even though Person 1 has to work on her introductory people skills, she is more knowledgeable about the English language than most her age, and she is also able to see things objectively and be kind about them. On the other hand, Person 2 was a very negative representation of his (or her) age group:

Person 2: Except she was right, when you say P.S. it does not need any form of pausing mark. It is like saying Dear, Sam. granted i do not have perfect punctuation but at least I don’t insist i do when i don’t.

Me: Except that you mean P.S. at the end of a letter or a note. In such a case, you would be correct. However, I was using P.S. in the context of amending my statement. This is a practice common among many people. If I were to say it aloud, I would add a pause after “P.S.,” thus granting my use of a dash after it in writing thoroughly and beautifully acceptable. The use of a dash after P.S. in the context of amending a statement is irrefutably correct.

**sigh** I may not know punctuation perfectly (nor do I claim to), but I do know when it’s correct and/or acceptable after a thorough examination, especially on so simple a matter.

Honestly. This is splitting hairs. For heaven’s sakes. A person could go either way– dash or no– and it would be thoroughly acceptable. English isn’t quite so strict a language as some people seem to think it, and especially in creative works.

Person 2: You are obviously an idiot considering that you have not recognized that P.S. is short for post script.This means thhat if you are using it to “amend a sentence” it is still a post script therefore either you are a completly obnoxious ****** [Though not known commonly, this word is actually a Scottish swear word, and I'll not have it posted on my blog. The kid probably has no idea what it means.] or your punctuation was wrong. Take your pick.

Me: **sigh**

You obviously don’t understand. Rather, I imagine you refuse to understand because you are offended by what I have said. That’s natural, but please look past whatever blockage you’ve put up and calm down.

I’ve known since before I could write coherently that P.S. stood and stands for “post script.”

Using it to amend a sentence is a common practice among many Americans, and it probably is amongst many other English dialects. As I told you, English is not so strict a language as some seem to think it to be.

The use of “P.S.” is taking the idea of amending a message and applying it to a mere sentence or conversation. It’s actually quite a clever way to speak. Please. For the sake of your own image, stop being so very rude. I’m simply defending my position, which is completely correct.

Please. Stop this. You’re only making yourself look foolish– and I don’t say that to throw terrifically lame comebacks at you. I say it for your own good.

Person 2: If you are as knowledgable as you claim to be then you would have realized that the “commen” way of using P.S. is never the less in the same context which it was intended to be used, and any other usage would be slang and by definition incorect.

oh and by the way i have spent most of my life learning about both english and debate so i do feel very sure in my opinion that the superior manner in which you speak is just a way to make yourself seem highly intelligent when in fact it is often just a cover up for average skill.

Me: Haha. Sorry. You’re in middle school, aren’t you? Or just barely out of it?

Well, I’ve been through middle school and used to be as rude as you’re being, so I understand how it is. I’ll not respond to you any longer as I see this is going nowhere, and my responses will only fuel more heated hate-posts from you. I hope some of your more sensible friends (I know they’re there– I know at least one of them personally) can show you a better way to treat others.

At any rate, I hope you may regain your composure soon. It’s a nasty business, being angry and harboring hate as you seem to be doing. Whatever it is, hate or not, something’s amiss. I hope it gets better. I wish you every happiness in life. I really do; it’s not fun to feel negative to such a degree. I know I did for several years, as it were.

Farewell, dear [Person 2].

Person 2: oh i am not mad i just really like to debate things and i think you are wrong sorry i was raised to state my opinions rather then just keep quiet and go eith the flow, oh and by the way i am just out of middle school.

Well, there you have it. One middle-school child with at least some apparent form of respect and maturity and another with near to zero maturity and a knack for arguing things he (or she) obviously (by the looks of his or her English usage) knows very, very little about. It’s funny. Kids under the age of about ten or eleven seem to generally have more maturity in some areas than this child of fourteen or fifteen does. Ah, well. Can you blame him/her? He/she was only released from the depths of middle school (not to discount all middle-schoolers– generally, though, we have a tendency to be immature to a surprising nature during that age. It’s a troublesome time).

I figured that since it was so late after finishing the conversation, I might as well take the time to post it and stay up late… yet again. Sigh.

By the way (another phrase similar to my “P.S.!”), when I use the term “middle-school” children, I use it to describe the person’s maturity level. It’s possible to be quite mature in middle school. Sadly, though, the common notion is to act immature, and some of these traits are still often found in children in their senior year of high school! Alas.